Our Starfish

Obrien is our starfish. To others he is a tall, nice-looking Zambian who speaks English well, but to us he is our starfish.

You’ve probably heard the starfish story by now; it’s been circulating on the internet and in inspirational writings for several years. But just in case the starfish story is new to you, here it is:

Walking along a beach one day, a boy saw a man pick up a starfish and throw it back into the water. “Why did you do that, mister?” asked the boy.

“Because the tide is going out, and the starfish would be stranded here and dry out. In all likelihood, he would be long dead before the tide comes in again,” responded the man.

“What difference could it make?” the boy asked. “Surely there are thousands and thousands of starfish in that ocean. What difference would it make if you throw just one back in the water so it can live?”

“It makes a great deal of difference to this one,” smiled the man as he walked on the down the beach.

Now here is the story of our starfish. Obrien showed up in September when we were still living in the Hamby’s house. He wanted to do piecework to earn money for new shoes. David turned him down, telling him that we didn’t need any piecework just then. Obrien came back a few days later asking for money to help his grandmother get back to her village. We gave him a little bit and thought we’d seen the last of him.

Obrien showed up again when we were getting our house ready to move in. The construction manager had hired him as a pieceworker (temporary) to scrape paint off the floors and then wax them. I noticed that his English was quite good, and I used him as a translator to give instructions to the other workers.

After the other pieceworkers had gone home, Obrien stayed around, asking again if he could work for us to earn money for new shoes. This time David relented and let him stay on. We thought he would work just a few days, but that’s not how events unfolded. He turned out to be a hard worker and very dependable, and we kept him on to help with the gardening and yard work.

Eventually we learned his life story. Obrien is an orphan. His father died when Obrien was very young, and his mother died seven years ago. After his mother’s death, Obrien went to live in Ndola with an aunt. Then the aunt died. Obrien returned to his grandmother’s village and stayed for a while, but the grandmother couldn’t afford to pay for his school fees. (Education beyond seventh grade is not free in Zambia.) Obrien had to quit school before finishing the eighth grade. He had come to the Namwianga area last spring and was living with a cousin. The arrangement wasn’t the best, and Obrien was looking for another place to live. He also asked us to help him finish school.

It’s not easy to find a boarding school for a 21-year old. The Secretary of Education at Namwianga investigated for us found out that Kabanga Christian School had boarding for grade nine, and they were willing to take Obrien, even at age 21. I agreed to tutor him for the next three months to get him through grade eight.

Since October Obrien has arrived at 6:30 every morning Monday through Saturday, and he and I have waded through the Zambian grade 8 curriculum. Our schedule was to study until 9 a.m. or so, then he worked outside in the garden or yard until 3:30 in the afternoon when we started schoolwork again. We continued working until 5:00 and then he went home and did his homework. The house where he lived had no electricity, so he used some of his pay to buy kerosene for a lamp so that he could have enough light for studying. He never once complained about anything I asked him to do and always had his work done when he arrived in the morning.

Last week we helped him gather the things he would need for a new phase of life: a school uniform, a toothbrush, a bucket for hand-washing his clothes, a blanket, a cup, plate, and spoon, school supplies, and a Bible. On Sunday we took Obrien to Kabanga for the start of the new school year. He had never seen the school, so we showed him around and introduced him to some of the teachers. We offered our words of wisdom (“Study hard and stay away from the girls!”), gave him hugs, and then we left him there as we set off to return to Namwianga.

As we drove away, I told David we had thrown our starfish into the sea. There are hundreds of thousands of young men like Obrien in Zambia. We hope we’ve made a difference for this one.