Marriage Seminar

Here is a picture of us conducting a Marriage Enrichment Seminar on Saturday. Note the angle of the chalkboard in the background. It's a pretty typical Zambian sight.

This seminar at Siabalumbi was our second; we did our first one at Boma three weeks ago. Ruhtt Mbomwae recruited us for these. She and her husband Shepherd work with several local congregations, and they plan an annual marriage seminar at each one. The seminars are scheduled on Saturdays in April and May. She told us that David was to speak on the role of a Christian husband, I was to speak on the characteristics of a Christian wife, and the two of us were to speak on communication.

We effectively put off our preparation for the first seminar until the last possible minute. There seemed to be a good reason for this: what in the world did we know about marriage in the Zambian culture? Most of the American advice we had been given about marriage seemed irrelevant. For instance, we were always told that we should make time for each other by having a weekly night out. Hmm. Where would a Zambian couple go for a night out? No car, no restaurants, no movie theaters. Most Zambians don’t even own a flashlight for a moonlit stroll! What could I possibly say that would help a Zambian woman in her role as a Christian wife?

David was ahead of me in preparation. He left on the Friday night before the first seminar to speak at a nearby congregation. I had to stay home, I told him, because I hadn’t prepared my lesson for the next day. The house was quiet. I closed all the curtains and locked the security doors so no one would know that I was home. I sat down in front of the computer with my Bible in hand and faced the facts. I was going to have to strip away all my American cultural views of marriage and go straight from the word of God. Once again, as I have done on a daily basis in Zambia, I prayed for wisdom.

Not surprisingly, the lesson developed easily. There is plenty in the Word about how a husband and wife are to treat each other. Love, honor, respect, and kindness know no cultural boundaries. I found I had plenty to say—straight from the Bible.

Both seminars we have done were well received by our Zambian audiences. The questions that participants asked, for the most part, revolved around issues that couples in all cultures face. And, not surprisingly, God’s word offers the needed guidance.

This experience humbled me and drove me to my knees in repentance. How often have I let my American cultural expectations and worldly wisdom guide my behavior and even my teaching? Living in a different culture is revealing to me the realities of Christian faith—without all the trappings of materialism and secularism that dominate American life.